PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

Practical Steps to Realizing the Family Life

The goal of our fellowship in this little paper is the care of our children in the light of God's eternal purpose in His divine economy-to gain a people into whom He is able to dispense Himself that they may become His enlargement and expression in one corporate Body. Because this is our burden, we do not focus on the family as the goal; rather, we view the family as an integral part of the Lord's purpose. God ordained marriage and the family not only to propagate the human race and populate the earth (Genesis 1:26-28), but also to generate "the seed of God" for the fulfillment of His goal in His divine economy (cf. Malachi 2:14-15). Therefore, in place of methods or principles of child rearing, we emphasize the divine stewardship that we parents bear-to raise our children that they may grow to be the testimony of our Lord Jesus, becoming His reproduction in the earth. We parents must experience certain dealings to perfect us for the carrying out of this responsibility.

In the particular contents of this issue, Witness Lee presents some personal experiences needed to realize the life of the Body of Christ. Because the family life is an intrinsic part of the church life for the Body life, we have taken the liberty to change the emphasis from the Body life to that of the family life. Hence, each reference to the body life has been changed to family life. We have also written some supplementary material that is identified in the text by brackets [...].

If the families in the churches do not live in and by the life of God, the real Body life can never be realized. We live in an age when individuality and individualism are viewed as among the highest virtues in human culture. "Human rights" are exalted. As a result we often live self-centered and independent lives. Who knows anything of rejecting the self or of giving up our independence; or who has any concept of the virtue of living in harmony in the family? For the genuine Christian family life to be made real, we must learn to keep the four principles given here: to reject our self, give up our independence, always do the best to keep the harmony, and always keep in mind that nothing is as important as Christ and His church. We believe that there is a desperate need for this fellowship among us today.

Giving Up the Self

Let us consider the practical steps to realizing the family life. If we are going to practice and realize the family life, we first must give up our self. The word self is a small word, but it is a practical issue. In order to realize the family life, we must always remember to give up our self, self-seeking, self-centeredness, self-opinion, self-intention, and self-exaltation. If we bring in even a small amount of self, we bring a cancer into the family. There is no need for us to do anything more serious; to bring in only a small amount of self is enough for the enemy to damage the family. This is why we have said that the first item of the spiritual "charter" of the church is the cross. The cross must check our self.

I do know what I am saying. What I am speaking is not a lecture; rather, I am pointing out the practical steps to realizing the family. If we intend to practice the real family life, we must be one hundred percent careful concerning the self. The first thing which damages the family life so much is the self. The things of the self are the little foxes which ruin the vineyards when they are in blossom (S. S. 2:15). We may say, "I have not done anything wrong. My intention toward the family is good." This may be true, but a little thing within us-the self-damages the family. It is not necessary to have a big thing to damage the family; even a little thing damages it. A small mote can damage the eye, and when the eye is damaged, the whole body cannot work. It is the same with the self.

Losing Our Independence

Second, we must lose our independence....There is no independence in the family life; there is only dependence. None of the members of our physical body can be independent. Independence simply means death for the body and death for the members. We should look at this matter not doctrinally but very practically. This is a vital matter, a matter of life and death. For a hand to declare independence means death for it.

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