PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

You must not allow your children to doubt your words. Not only must they not doubt your words, but they also must have the assurance that your words are accurate. If the children find their parents' words to be unreliable, they will grow up acting carelessly. They will think that since one can be careless with his words, he can be careless with anything. Some expressions can be used only in politics; they are not factual. Parents should not use such expressions. Many parents are apparently too kind to their children. They promise whatever their children ask, but nine out of ten times they cannot fulfill their promises. Such wonderful promises produce only one result in the children-disappointment. You must promise only things that you can do. If you cannot do a certain thing, do not promise it. If you are not sure whether you can do it, tell them so. Your words must be accurate.

2. Orders Needing to Be Carried Out

Sometimes you are not making a promise, but giving an order. If you open your mouth to ask your children to do something, you must make sure that it is done. You have to make them realize that you mean what you say. Many times you give a proper order, but you forget about it. This is wrong. You should not tell your children that it is all right if they do not carry out your order this time, just as long as they do it the next time. If you excuse them, you are not doing them a favor. You should show your children that once you say something, they must carry it out whether or not you remember it. If you say it once, you can say it a hundred times. If your word counts for one thing, your word should count for a hundred things. You should not nullify your own words. Show them from their youth that words are hallowed, whether they are a promise or an order. For example, if you tell your child to sweep his room every morning, you must first consider whether or not it is within his ability to do it. If he does not do it today, you must make sure that he does it the next day. If he does not do it the next day, you must make sure that he does it the third day. You must uphold your order this year, and you must uphold it next year. You have to show your children that your words are not uttered lightly and that once they are uttered, they have to be carried out. If they find that your words do not count, your words will become ineffective. Hence, every word out of your mouth must be practical and principled.

3. Correcting Exaggerated Words

Sometimes you exaggerate your words. You must find an opportunity to tell your children that you exaggerated your words on that particular occasion. Your words must be accurate. Sometimes you see only two cows but you say that there are three, or you see five birds but say that there are eight. You must correct yourself immediately. In speaking to your children, you must learn to always correct yourself. You should learn to say, "What I just said was not that accurate. There are two cows, not three." You must show them that words should be sanctified. Everything that happens in the family should be for the building up of Christian character. You must sanctify your words. When your children speak, they should also sanctify their words and be accurate with them. When you say something wrong, you must make a point to admit your mistake. In this manner you will train your children to sanctify their words. Many parents say five when they mean three or three when they mean two. They speak loosely and do not set up good patterns at home. As a result, their children never realize that words are sacred.

All these problems occur because there is a lack of discipline from the Lord. We should experience the Lord's discipline and lead our children to the Lord's discipline. At least we should show them that words are sacred. Every promise should be realized and every order should be carried out. Every word has to be accurate. If we do this, our children will receive proper training.
Watchman Nee, Messages For Building Up New Believers, Vol. 2, pp. 531-536; Printed by Living Stream Ministry.

APPLICATION

1. What does it mean to provoke children to anger? What are some of the ways in which we may guard against this error?

2. What will be the consequence if you only discipline your children but fail to encourage them when they perform well.?

3. How do your habits compare with the following: our words must be accurate, we must mean what we say, our words must be hallowed, sanctified; every promise should be realized and every order should be carried out?