PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

I know a brother whose father gambled, smoked, and behaved rudely at home. He embezzled public funds and was involved in many other unscrupulous businesses. But he still went to church, and he wanted all of his children to go to church. He would rebuke and punish them severely if they did not go. He ruined his children's taste for the family, all the while insisting that they go to church. Later, the brother said, "I vowed that when I grew up one day, I would never go to church. As soon as I could support myself, I was going to turn away from the church." Even though he swore this way, eventually he was saved. Thank God! Otherwise, he would have become another anti-Christian proponent. This was a very serious matter. The father did not try to make his children love him, yet he demanded that his children go to church. This never works. This provokes children to anger. Parents should not exercise excessive authority over their children or provoke them to anger. They must never make their children hardened and rebellious toward them.

...There was a mother who was a nominal Christian. She had a terrible temper. She insisted that her son read the Bible and go to a parochial school. One day he asked when he could stop reading the Bible. His mother replied, "When you finish secondary school, you can stop reading the Bible." On the day that he received his high school diploma, he took his three copies of the Bible and burned them in the backyard. You must draw children in a natural way. Otherwise, when their anger is provoked they may do anything. You want them to be good, but they will rebel against you when they become free. This is what is meant by provoking children to anger. Do not provoke your children to anger. You must learn to be proper parents, to have love, tenderness, and a proper testimony before them. You must also be an attraction to them. Do not exercise your authority excessively. Authority can only be exercised under self-control. If you are excessive in your use of authority, you will stifle your relationship with your children.

2. Showing Proper Appreciation

In addition, you should show proper appreciation for your children when they perform well. Some parents only know how to punish and scold; they know nothing else. This easily provokes their children to anger. Please remember that many children do have a desire to be good. If you have nothing for them except punishment and rebuke, they will become disheartened, according to Paul's word in Colossians 3:21. They will say that it is useless to do good because their parents will not acknowledge it. You must encourage your children when they perform well. You can say to them, "Today you have done well. I will reward you. I want to give you something special." Children do need to be disciplined, but they also need to be rewarded. Otherwise, they will become disheartened.

I read of a story about a little girl whose mother only knew how to beat and scold her children. The child had a good disposition when she was young. Since she felt that her mother did not approve of her, she decided that she would work especially hard one day to try to please her. When evening came, her mother undressed her, put her to bed, and began to walk away. As the mother was walking away, the daughter called to her. The mother asked what she wanted. She did not say anything. When the mother started to walk away again, the daughter called again. When the mother asked her again, the daughter said, "Mother, do you not have anything to say?" After the mother left, the girl cried for two hours. Her mother was too insensitive. She only knew how to beat and scold her daughter; she was insensitive to everything else.

Please remember that the New Testament has more teaching for parents than for children. The whole world speaks of the mistakes that children make, but the Lord spoke of the mistakes that parents make. Since the world speaks so much about children's mistakes, we do not have to say too much about them. The Bible tells us parents can indeed provoke their children to anger and dishearten them through their insensitivity. This is why it speaks so much about parenting. This occupation is more difficult than any other occupation in the world. Those who are parents must devote all their energy and mind to be proper parents. Please do not be insensitive to your children.

F. Being Accurate with Words

Sixth, parents' words are very important to children. You must not only be a pattern to your children but also realize that your words are very important to them.

1. Not Making Empty Promises

Please remember that parents should not say anything to their children that they cannot carry out. You must not make empty promises to your children. Do not promise them something if you do not have the ability to fulfill your promise. Do not make a promise to them if you cannot fulfill it. If your children want you to buy something, you have to consider your financial ability. If you can do it, do it. If not, you must say, "I will do my best. I will do what I can do. But I cannot do what is beyond my ability." Every word of yours must be reliable. You should not think that this is a small matter.

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