PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

I know of an old Christian couple who held different views. One would have one opinion and the other would have another. Their relationship as husband and wife was poor. As a result, they also became poor parents. Their children would ask the mother about things she agreed with, and they would ask the father about things he agreed with. They manipulated their requests in this way. If the mother came home and asked the children about their behavior, they would say, "We have checked with Father." If the father came home and asked the children about their behavior, they would say, "We have checked with Mother." As a result, their children had complete freedom by manipulating their way through their parents' inconsistencies. Twenty years ago I said to the father, "If this kind of condition continues, your children will surely turn away from the Lord." He said, "That will not happen." Today all of their sons have graduated from college, and some have gone overseas for further study, but none have believed in the Lord. They all are very undisciplined.

It is a different matter if one of the parents is an unbeliever. If both are believers, however, they have to expect God's heavy hand upon them. If one is not a believer, either the believing husband or the believing wife can pray specifically for mercy. But if both are believers and they pull their children in different directions, they can expect nothing but trouble down the road.

Whenever children get into trouble, the parents must exercise themselves to be of one mind. They must have the same mind before their children. Whatever the children ask, the husband's first answer should be, "Have you checked with your mother? What did she say? If your mother says yes, you can do it." If you are the wife and your children ask for something, you first should answer, "Have you checked with your father? Whatever he says, I will say the same." Whether or not the other person is right is a different story. You must maintain the same stand. If there is any dispute, both of you must go into your room to discuss it. Do not open a loophole for them. They will become loose once there are loopholes. Children always like to look for loopholes. If the husband sees a fault in the wife or vice versa, any question as to why something was said to the children must be asked behind closed doors. It is important to clarify any disagreement, but you must not allow your children to find loopholes in you. If the parents are of one mind, it will be very easy to lead the children to the Lord.

Fourth, there is a basic principle in the Bible that children are given by Jehovah (Psalms 127:3). According to the Bible, children are entrusted by God to man. One day you must render your account of this trust to God. No one can say that his children are his and his alone. The thought that one's children are his own, that one can do whatever he wants with them, and that he has absolute control over them is a pagan concept; it is not a Christian concept. Christianity never teaches that children are ours. Rather, it acknowledges that children are God's trust and that parents cannot exercise despotic control over their children throughout their childhood.

1. Parents Do Not Have Unlimited Authority

Some people hold on to the concept that parents are always right. They hold on to this concept even after they have become Christians. Please remember that many parents are not always right. Many times the parents are quite wrong. We should not pick up pagan concepts, and we should not assume that we have unlimited authority over our children.

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