PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

We can take another example. Some...love the Lord very much and are very given to the service, but in their daily life they are very loose and sloppy in their reading of the Word and prayer. One day, they find themselves having to lead [their family] to read the Bible and to pray, and for the sake of being a pattern,...they begin to read the Bible and to pray properly. I can tell you that such reading and praying are numbered in their days. I can guarantee you that they will not last for more than two or three months. I believe you understand what I mean. Here is a method; it is not the person. If you want to help others to read the Bible and pray, you yourself must first be a reading person and a praying person....The reading and the praying should not be your method; they should be your person....

Take another example—to be honest. You may ask how it is that [someone] who is dishonest, pretentious, and crafty can be [a brother]. I have to let you know, however, that man is not simple; man is very complicated. I have definitely seen [those] in the church who love the Lord and are earnest in pursuit, who also are dishonest. Suppose a brother has definitely made mistakes before the Lord, and the Lord has given me...an opportunity to see him, and the brother is very humble to ask me what he should do. If I am a very tactful person, I would say, "Brother, you are just fine. You are all right." But this is being dishonest. It is not the honest way of dealing with one another. Although a Christian has to learn to be human, he should not learn to be human according to the way of worldly society. That kind of being human is eighty to ninety percent pretentious. <>/p>

When such a brother comes to me, even if I cannot say a strong or straight word to him, I should at least not commend him as being all right and being fine. I must consider his condition and ability to receive. If he cannot receive my frank rebuke, then it is better that I keep quiet and be a dumb person before him. I cannot tell him that he is fine and that he is very good. This is to be a pretentious person....

I have been questioned by brothers in a nice way before as to why I kept silent when they came to me some time earlier, asking me to comment on their condition. I said, "Brother, you know what your condition was at that time. If I had said something to you then, what would the consequences have been?" After they pondered for a while, they said, "You are right, brother. You knew I could not take it then. You did not say anything because you weighed my condition at that time."...

I admit that this lesson is difficult to learn. We are all sons of Adam, and it is difficult for our hearts to be broad. We all have a wicked nature. For us to be human is easy, but for us to deal with others honestly is very difficult. Nevertheless, brothers, since we have received the Lord's mercy to be...among His people, we should be honest persons. We are not here to learn some method.... Rather we are here to be enlightened, to submit to the Lord's hand, and to receive His dealings. It is not a question of picking up some method, but a matter of receiving His dealings.... As soon as we become involved with methods, we fall into pretense.

Brothers, even your politeness and courtesy have to be genuine. For some elders, even their politeness to the brothers and sisters is false. In the world, there may be the need for polite pretense, but in the church, the elders should not have any polite pretense. Furthermore, even your anger has to be genuine. It is true that an elder should restrict his temper, but there should not be any false restriction. False restrictions are but attempts to be human and political. Perhaps you may ask me what is false restriction of temper, and what is its genuine restriction. I can perhaps describe to you a little. For example, I may be a very quick-tempered person, but I have received mercy from the Lord to be an elder in the church. When problems arise among the brothers and sisters, It is true that I can easily lose my temper, but I know that elders are not supposed to lose their temper. If they do, they will ruin things. For that reason I submit myself to the hand of the Lord and receive the Lord's discipline to deal with my temper. Not only do I deal with it before the brothers and sisters, but I deal with it at home before the Lord. I would smite my chest and say to the Lord, "Lord, You know how bad my temper is. I hate myself. Unless You are merciful to me, the church will be ruined under my hands." You have to realize that this kind of restriction of the temper is genuine.

...If I am to deal with my temper, I have to deal with it from the inside out. I must deal with it before God and before the brothers. The restriction of temper should not be a matter of a method for me. Rather, it should be a lesson for me as a person.

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