PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

Peter tells the husbands to assign honor to their wives. A husband must give at least a certain measure of honor to his wife. If we see that a husband should honor his wife, we should realize that this implies some kind of submission to her. Submission always goes with honor. If you do not submit to a particular person, how can you honor that one? This would be impossible. Honoring someone always implies a certain degree of submission. As we have already pointed out, this is a word of balance. Husbands must honor their wives, and, no doubt, the wives must also honor their husbands.

A husband should not argue that because his wife is the weaker vessel, she should not be honored by him, the stronger vessel. Once again I would say that husbands need to recognize that the weakness of their wives was prepared by God for their marriage relationship. Even though the wife is the weaker vessel, in many aspects she is worthy of her husband's honor. Therefore, the husband must assign honor to her.

Married life can be compared to a corporation, a business, that assigns a percentage of the yearly profits to its shareholders or owners. In our married life husbands must learn what percentage of the "profit" of the marriage "corporation" should go to the wife. The husband needs to know how much of the profit belongs to him and how much should be assigned to the wife. Husbands should not rob wives of their profit, of their honor. In married life a portion of the profit or honor must be assigned to the wife.

The husband's assigning of honor to the wife should be according to knowledge. The phrase "according to knowledge" is related to "assigning honor as to the weaker, female vessel." Of course, "according to knowledge" is also related to the matter of dwelling together with our wives. Our dwelling with our wives should be according to knowledge and also accompanied by the assigning of honor to our wives. This is the way to have a proper balance in our married life. If our married life lacks this balance, it will be like a scale with one side in the air and the other side down low. That kind of imbalance causes a very poor married life. The point here is that the balance in married life comes mainly from the husband assigning honor to the wife….

In assigning honor to the wife, the husband should be careful not to assign too much honor. I believe that Peter's word about assigning honor implies that a husband should not give too much honor to his wife. If he honors her too much, he will spoil her. The husband should assign honor to his wife properly, giving her neither too little nor too much. I have seen marriages where the husband was so kind, good, generous, and humble that he assigned all the profit of the marriage corporation to his wife. That caused the wife to be spoiled.

Brothers, assigning honor to our wives should not be done foolishly, blindly, or ignorantly. It must be done according to knowledge. As husbands, we need to determine what is the right percentage of honor that should go to ourselves as the husbands and what percentage to our wives. If you assign honor to your wife in a proper way, the "business" of your married life will be healthy and sound. Your marriage will be secure and peaceful.

(Life-Study of First Peter, Message #23, pp. 205-210; Witness Lee, published by Living Stream Ministry 1984.)

APPLICATION

Although Peter urges wives to be subject to their own husbands, he by no means relegates them to a status of "second class" persons. Rather, he tells the husbands to assign honor to their wives. This word is crucial in today's self-'ed society. The relationship of the wives with their husbands is the most crucial factor governing the effectiveness of Christian parents.

Suggestions for our consideration:

What is the significance of husbands dwelling together with their wives according to knowledge?

What is the meaning of a husband's assigning honor to his wife and what is the basis of such assignment?