PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

The proper practice between husbands and wives is that the wife should respect her husband as lord and subject herself to him, but the husband should not assume the position as being the lord over his wife. This means that a husband should not say, "Don't you know that I am your lord? Even you yourself recognize me as lord." It is wrong for a husband to have this attitude or to speak this way. Peter's word is balanced. When he speaks concerning the husbands, he indicates by the phrase "in like manner" that the husbands should subject themselves to their wives.

Some readers of this book may think that in 3:1-7 we have two extremes. They may think that the first extreme is Peter's word about wives being in subjection to their husbands, and the second, the indication that, in like manner, the husbands should be in subjection to their wives. Actually, what we have here is a word of balance. If our married life is to be balanced, we need to have two poles, or, if you prefer to say it this way, two extremes. One pole should be the wife's subjection to the husband, and the other pole, the husband's subjection to the wife. If we have these two poles in our married life, we shall be balanced, and we shall live our married life in a "temperate zone." I enjoy living in a place where the climate is temperate, neither too hot nor too cold. The "climate" of our married life should also be temperate, moderate….

DWELLING TOGETHER ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE

In verse 7 Peter says that the husbands should dwell together with their wives according to knowledge. The phrase "according to knowledge" can easily be misinterpreted. Men who have more knowledge or education than their wives may fail to respect their wives. Peter is not referring to the knowledge of human education. For a husband to dwell together with his wife according to knowledge is to live with her in an intelligent and reasonable way. It is to be governed by spiritual knowledge that recognizes the nature of the marriage relationship and the weakness of the female, not governed by any passion or emotion.

Husbands, your relationship with your wife should be governed by spiritual knowledge; it should not be governed by the knowledge you have gained through your college education. Spiritual knowledge recognizes the nature of the marriage relationship. In married life, husbands need to have a spiritual knowledge that recognizes the weakness of the female. If we have this knowledge, we shall know that God created woman the weaker vessel simply for the nature of the marriage relationship. If there is to be a proper marriage relationship, both parties should not be equally strong. One party should be stronger than the other. Therefore, the brothers should not think that the weakness of their wives is something to be despised. No, we must realize that our wives" weakness was created by God specifically for the purpose of the marriage relationship. Therefore, we need to understand the reason for the weakness of the female, and we need to understand the nature of the marriage relationship. This is to have our married life governed not by the knowledge from human education but by spiritual knowledge.

A husband's relationship with his wife is certainly not to be governed by any passion or emotion. This means that in married life a husband should be governed neither by worldly knowledge nor by fleshly emotion. Instead, he must be governed by spiritual knowledge that recognizes that the weakness of the female was designed by God to fit in with the nature of the marriage relationship.

ASSIGNING HONOR

In verse 7 Peter also says that the husbands should assign honor to their wives as to the weaker, female vessel. The Greek word rendered "assigning" means to apportion, to portion out; hence, to assign to. The Greek word for honor…means preciousness, valuable worth. The husbands should appreciate the preciousness, the valuable worth, of the wives, and apportion it, assign it, as honor to them duly and reasonably as to the weaker, female vessel.

Man, including woman, was made a vessel to contain God (Romans 9:21, 23), and believers in Christ are vessels to contain Christ as the treasure (2 Corinthians 4:7). The female, according to

nature in God's creation, is weaker than the male physically and psychologically. Although the wives, as female vessels, are weaker, they are still vessels of the Lord and can be vessels unto honor (2 Timothy 2:21), deserving a certain honor.

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