PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

DWELLING TOGETHER ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE

In this issue of Parenthood, we continue a series of articles dealing with the impact if the marriage relationship upon child rearing. The relationship between the father and mother is the single most influential factor in the growth of their children. In his first epistle, Peter speaks of the relationship between the husband and wife in terms of the wife's submission to her husband and of the husband's honoring of his wife. When either of these God-ordained functions in the marriage life is missing, the children suffer. The wife may feel control rather than honor; the husband may feel resistance instead of submission. In such a situation, the children do not have a proper covering for them to grow up in a healthy and proper atmosphere. In the previous issue we touched the matter of the wife's role and function. With this issue we will deal with the husband's function and care of his wife.

"Husbands, in like manner dwell together with them according to knowledge, as with the weaker, female vessel, assigning honor to them as also to fellow heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered"—1 Peter 3:7. In his sharing concerning this passage, brother Witness Lee suggests that the phrase, "in like manner" indicates that just as the wife is to be subject to her own husband (v. 1), the husband should also have some degree of submission to his wife. Peter also encourages the husband to assign honor to his wife. The Greek word for assigning honor is not to just be accommodating to another, but it is to recognize that honor is due to that person.

It indicates that because we are fellow-heirs of the grace of life, we accord respect and honor to one another. Because she is the weaker vessel by God's creative purpose and because she is taught to be subject to her husband, the husband may tend to feel that he is superior in his person.

Mutual respect and care of one another in the marriage relationship is according to God's ordination. When we have such a loving and respecting relationship, the family life becomes a healthy place to nurture our children.

In the previous message we considered 3:1-6, Peter's word to the wives concerning married life. In verse 1 Peter indicates that, as household servants are subject to their masters, so the wives should be subject to their own husbands. Then in verses 3 and 4 Peter points out that what is costly in the sight of God is the adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, which is the hidden man of the heart. Let us now go on to consider Peter's word to husbands.

A BALANCING WORD

Verse 7 says, "The husbands, in like manner, dwelling together with them according to knowledge, assigning honor as to the weaker, female vessel, as also joint-heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." Peter's word to husbands is quite different from Paul's word in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3. Peter uses the phrase "in like manner," a phrase that has bothered me. This phrase seems to indicate that as servants are subject to their masters, and wives to their husbands, so the husbands, in like manner, should be subject to their wives.

I believe that Peter intends this phrase to mean that not only are wives to be in subjection to their husbands hut also husbands to their wives. (As we shall see, Peter's word about husbands honoring their wives implies at least a certain amount of subjection to them.)

Some may think that saying that husbands are to be subject to their wives contradicts the word that wives should subject themselves to their husbands. Actually, as we shall see, this is not at all a matter of contradiction; it is a matter of balance. Neither Peter nor Paul says clearly that husbands should be subject to their wives. But Peter says that husbands should honor their wives, and Paul, that husbands should love their wives. In Ephesians 5:21 Paul says, "Being subject to one another in the fear of Christ." This seems to indicate that a husband and wife are to be subject to each other.

The Bible is much wiser than we are. In particular, it is wiser than those who say they are concerned about human rights. The Bible is full of wisdom, for it always keeps things balanced.

What Peter says in verse 7 is a balance to what he says in the preceding six verses. Regarding married life, it would be pitiful to have verses 1 through 6 without verse 7. That may cause some to think that the females should be slaves of the males. But if we read the book of Genesis, we shall see that Abraham highly appreciated his wife, Sarah. Yes, according to 3:6 Sarah did call Abraham lord. However, she did not say this directly to him. Rather, this word was uttered before the Lord. Genesis 18:12 says, "Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?" This word was not spoken directly to Abraham. There is no record in Genesis that Sarah ever called Abraham lord directly.

(continued on page 2)