PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

In Matthew 5:37 the Lord said, "But let your word be, Yes, yes; No, no; for anything more than these is of the evil one." If something is yes, we say yes. if it is no, we say no. This is to walk in the light and in honesty. But if we stop to reason about the possible effect of our words on others and consider how we can speak of with diplomacy, our motive and attitude are unbecoming a worker of the Lord. If our words are framed in craftiness, we are making such words instruments of deceit! We would rather follow our Lord's example. When people sought to lay a snare for Him by their questions, He resorted to silence. If we have to say something we would rather have our words be yes, yes; No, no." Anything more than this is of the evil one….

Sixth, we must deal with the very way we listen. A man may be somewhat gifted and talented. But as long as he is inaccurate with his words, there is a gaping hole in his character. This one flaw alone will cost him all of his power. How unfortunate that many of God's workers have become information centers! Brothers and sisters, as the Lord's workers we come into constant contact with people and have therefore many opportunities to hear others speak as well as to speak to others ourselves. If we are not disciplined and restricted in our words, it is very possible that while we are speaking God's word, we are spreading rumors and gossip at the same time. If our words are not disciplined, we may be building up God's work with one hand and destroying it with the other. Hence, we have to look to God to apply strict discipline to our ears. Brothers and sisters often want to tell us their personal stories. We should do our best to listen to them. We should be a good listener, and we should realize their problem and render them the proper help. When others speak to us, we should listen to them to take care of their need and solve their problem.

But we must discourage them from going into any further detail once we are inwardly clear about their need. We should tell them to stop. We can say, "That is enough. You can stop here." It is wrong to listen with curiosity to what others have to say and to treat their words as stories or tall tales.

Seventh, we have to gain and maintain people's trust. If anyone shares his spiritual problems with us, that is a trust he has placed with us. We must not speak about these confidences carelessly. Unless the interests of the work make it necessary, we should not repeat these things loosely. If we have never been disciplined in our words, we cannot participate in God's work. God's servants are entrusted with many things. They need to treat such confidences as a sacred trust and guard them faithfully. These words are entrusted to us; they are not our possessions but are objects entrusted to us in our ministry and our divine service. We cannot release them at will. We must learn to safeguard and protect every spiritual confidence placed in us by the brothers and sisters.…May He restrict our words, and may we not open our mouth rashly or speak lightly. Whether or not a person is disciplined is most easily seen from the way he controls his tongue. If a man is disciplined, his tongue will always be restricted. We should pay particular attention to this matter.

Eighth, we have to pay special attention to the matter of lies. The double-tongued person to whom we have referred is a close kinsman of the liar. All utterances that are made with an intent to give a false hope or a wrong impression fall into the category of lying. Sometimes a lie may not contain any false statement, but it is skillfully spoken to give others a false impression. This is in reality a lie. We have to remember that honesty in our speech is a matter of motive; it is not simply a matter of correctness in words.

If a brother asks a question we do not wish to answer or are unable to answer, we should politely refuse to reply, but we should not deceive the brother. A false statement is a lie, and anything that gives others a wrong impression is also a lie. We want people to believe the truth; therefore, we dare not use words that are true in order to convey a false impression.…There is no sickness more fundamental than this one.…Hence, we must guard ourselves, pay attention to our words, and never be loose. Otherwise, we will not be able to serve our God. God cannot use a person who is His mouthpiece one minute and a mouthpiece of Satan the next minute. No, He can never use such a person. (Watchman Nee, The Character of the Lord's Worker, pp. 71-80, Published by Living Stream Ministry, August, 1996)

APPLICATION

In this issue we have seen the need to guard all that proceeds out of our mouth. In the raising up and guiding of our children, we should do our best to train them how to keep a watch over their tongues. For us to do this we ourselves must first practice to speak according to the truth which is in Jesus. Paul told us, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one" (Colossians 4:6). He also exhorted his readers to "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up, according to the need, that it may give grace to those who hear." (Ephesians 4:29).

Suggestions for our consideration:

1. What are the areas of guarding our lips which can and must be infused into our children?

2. What are some practical steps for training our children to learn to discipline themselves in restricting their tongues?