PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

THE EXERCISE OF FORBEARANCE

In the foregoing message we emphasized the need of forbearance in our married life, family life, and church life. For the building up of the church, the elders and all the saints need to exercise forbearance. Likewise, for a pleasant married life and an excellent family life we need to be forbearing. I hope that all the saints with children will be deeply impressed with the need to exercise forbearance in their daily living at home—Witness Lee in the introduction to message fifty-nine of the Life-Study of Philippians.

The need of forbearance in our daily living is the key thought emphasized in this issue of Parenthood. We have been given a major responsibility by the Lord—the raising of our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. How can we carry out this responsibility? We must exercise the virtue of forbearance. We saw in the previous issue that forbearance includes self-control, patience, moderation, kindness, gentleness, and even all Christian virtues.

This issue deals with the source or the means to attain to the virtue of forbearance. We see that forbearance is the result of rejoicing in the Lord. To exercise forbearance we need to be happy, be joyful in the Lord. Furthermore, we are shown that the lack of understanding others causes a lack of forbearance. And we need to exercise wisdom in speaking and dealing with others. In our practice of forbearance, we must learn when to speak, how to speak and how much to say to care for others.

God, Himself, is the ultimate source of forbearance. He has given us a task, and He gives us the supply to accomplish that responsibility. He gives us forbearance and the forbearance He gives to us is Himself as the indwelling Spirit. As we receive this divine supply, we are able to fulfill the divine purpose. We will be able to build up a proper married life and family life, and a prevailing church life.

God, Himself, is the ultimate source of forbearance. He has given us a task, and He gives us the supply to accomplish that responsibility. He gives us forbearance and the forbearance He gives to us is Himself as the indwelling Spirit. As we receive this divine supply, we are able to fulfill the divine purpose. We will be able to build up a proper married life and family life, and a prevailing church life.

THE MEANING OF FORBEARANCE

The Greek word rendered forbearance in (Philippians) 4:5 is composed of two words: epi, a preposition which means unto, and eikos, which means seemly, fitting, or suitable. When the preposition epi is added to other Greek words as a prefix, it often bears the meaning of full or extensive....The use of this preposition as a component of the Greek word for forbearance in 4:5 indicates that the meaning of this word is to be fully reasonable, or fitting or suitable to the fullest extent. We need to have a full and extensive reasonableness and considerateness. Furthermore, we need to act in a way that is fitting and suitable to the fullest extent....

REJOICING IN THE LORD

We have seen that forbearance requires maturity and also satisfaction and contentment. Now we need to see that forbearance is also related to rejoicing in the Lord. In 4:4 Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." Immediately after this he says, "Let your forbearance be known to all men." If we do not rejoice in the Lord, we shall not be able to forbear. If we would make known our forbearance, we need to be happy and joyful in the Lord. Those who are sad or sorrowful cannot have forbearance. Instead, they find it easy to be upset, to complain, or to lose their temper. Forbearance in 4:5 is the issue, the result, of rejoicing in the Lord, mentioned in verse 4. From experience we know that rejoicing and forbearing go together.

THE NEED FOR UNDERSTANDING AND WISDOM

Often we are not forbearing because of misunderstanding. In the church life often we may not understand the brothers and sisters. In our family life we may fail to understand our husband or wife. This lack of understanding causes a lack of forbearance. Suppose Paul had misunderstood the Philippians.

He certainly would not have written them such a marvelous epistle....Paul, however, had a full understanding of God's economy and His move; he also understood the subtlety of Satan's attack. Moreover, he understood the saints in Philippi and their situation. To him everything was crystal clear. Thus, on his part there was no misunderstanding. He could exercise much forbearance in writing to the believers in Philippi....

Paul needed to exercise wisdom in writing to the Philippians, and there is the need for us also to exercise wisdom in our married life. Husbands need wisdom in speaking with their wives, and wives need wisdom in sharing matters with their husbands. Here I would emphasize the need for the wife to have wisdom toward her husband. Suppose a sister intends to talk about a particular matter with her husband. Before she says anything, she needs to exercise understanding, consideration, and wisdom. If she speaks to him at the wrong time or if she says too much to him concerning the subject at hand, she may cause him to become angry not only with her, but also with others in the church life, even with the elders. Sometimes a husband becomes upset with the elders simply because his wife gives him information without exercising understanding, consideration, and wisdom. Even in passing on information to her husband, a sister needs a great deal of forbearance.

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